Week 3 | You DON’T Complete Me | Grown Up Love
SUMMARY
Deeply ingrained into our ideas about romantic love is the myth that once I find the right person, I’ll be completed. And so it doesn’t matter what I’ve done or who I am between now and then. All I need is a promise and I don’t have to work at becoming the right kind of person. But that’s a myth. We are adults and we know that it takes more than a promise, it takes preparation and hard work to become the kind of person the person you are looking for is looking for.
That’s where following Jesus moves us to relational maturity. He tells us we are supposed to love each as God has loved us through Christ. This is radical idea that challenges our understanding of love.
Paul gives us the fine print of that kind of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-11. Last week we considered the first several. Love is patient, kind, it shares the spot light (does not envy, boast and is not proud), and it doesn’t dishonor.
This week we consider that love is not self seeking. Love pus the interest and the needs of others first. This is what God did for us in Christ.
Love is not easily angered or provoked. The greek word means “sharp” or ”stirred up.” Instead love absorbs the offense and energy. No one can make you angry- it just stirs up what’s already inside you.
Love Keeps no record of wrongs. It’s not a scorekeeper waiting for a mess up. God led the way in forgiveness. It’s the conscious decision to not define someone by the wrong they do.
Paul leaves behind the childish ways of thinking of love, and recognizes a different kind of love- a love where you become the kind of person you are looking for is looking for.
TALK IT OUT
1. As a child, what did you believe about romance and relationships? Which of these assumptions have proved to be untrue as an adult?
2. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-11
The apostle Paul defines love based on what it is and what it isn’t. Do the following traits describe the type of person you want to be? Do they describe the type of person you’re looking for in a relationship? Explain.
Love Is
•Patient • Kind • Protective • Trusting • Hopeful • Persevering
Love is not
•Jealous • Arrogant • Dishonoring • Self-seeking • Easily angered • A scorekeeper
3. What assumptions or myths about love do you need to let go of? How could Paul’s definition of love serve as the basis for understanding what “grown-up love” looks like?
DEEPER DIVE (Sources cited and recommended reading)
The Meaning of Marriage – Timothy Keller
Love Sex and Dating – Andy Stanley
Rocking the Roles- Lewis and Hendricks