Week 1 | You Don’t Complete Me | The ONE Relational Principle
Main Idea: The One Relational Principle
Text: John 15:1-13
SUMMARY
Stories of people falling in love makes for great movies. But falling in love only requires a pulse, staying in love requires so much more. Real relationships are messy and complicated.
And many times we make relational decisions that ultimately undermine our relationships. Such decisions become a permanent part of the story of their lives. We want to tell a good story with our lives, ones that don’t have regret or embarrassment. Equally- we don’t want to be someone else’s regret.
Two myths drive this confusion relationally. The first is the right person myth; that once you find the right person everything will be alright. All our past habits and hangups and dysfunctions will disappear once I find “the one”. That may be the stuff of movies, but it’s not reality.
The second myth is the promise myth. That all I need is a promise and a party. But promises are never a substitute for preparation. It doesn’t work for athletics or business, yet we believe it will work for relationships. If you aren’t preparing, you won’t be prepared.
Jesus told his disciples in John 15 a relational principle that helps us become the kind of person we are looking for is looking for. When we abide and remain in him, God will produce fruit in us. It’s not gonna come because we figured out how to be great fruit-bearers, it’s as we chose to model and pattern our life after his. As we follow his commands, we will be bruit-bearers.
And his command is simple; love each other — not as we want to be loved, but as he has loved us. The gospel is our north-star for how we are to engage in relationships of all sorts. Consider how God loved us through Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross. That is our model and pattern for how we demonstrate love in our romantic relationships.
TALK IT OUT
•Have you ever watched someone (not in the room) make a relationship decision that ultimately undermined their relationship? How does that impact the story that they tell of their lives 5,10,15 and 20 years in the future?
•What are your thoughts on the idea that finding the “right person” is a myth when it comes to lasting relationships? Have you ever fallen into this belief or witnessed others doing so?
•The ‘promise myth’ says that all you need is a promise and a party. How do you think this myth affects the way people approach relationships today?
•Read John 15:1-13. Jesus uses the metaphor of the vine and branches to describe our relationship with Him. How do you understand this metaphor, and what does it reveal about how we should relate to Jesus? What does it mean to abide in Jesus?
•According to vs. 9-13 – how do we remain in Jesus’ love? By the same passage, what is the one command of Jesus?
• How does the command to love each other “as Jesus has loved us” bringing added weight, significance and power to how we treat our significant other?
DEEPER DIVE
(Sources cited and recommended reading)
The Meaning of Marriage – Timothy Keller
Love Sex and Dating – Andy Stanley
Rocking the Roles- Lewis and Hendricks